Days to cherish

These days before Spring have a new poignance about them.  Rather than waiting for buds to bloom, I am taking in the last days of leafless trees.  I let myself marvel at the intricate structures soon to be covered with leaves.  I notice how their majestic patterns frame the sky.  I honor the rooted strength within earth.  These are days to cherish as any other.  This is beauty to witness as any other.

Morning prayer

I open my heart to this day
To the wonder of being
And the glory of beauty
To trust in kindness
And joy in creation.

I ask all guides of wisdom and spirit
To help remove all barriers
To true self and soul
So that I may thrive freely
For the good of the whole.

Enter Into What Is

I don't need to answer to what was,
I need to enter into what is.
"What was" remnants will circle back as they will
In the flow of consequence.
I need not take charge of completing the circle or healing the wound or filling the hole,
I need to enter this day ready to meet it in full.
Breathe in, letting life permeate my being,
Breathe out, offering love to the swirl of becoming.

Upon waking, I catch that moment before the rush of identity takes hold to tell me what to do with the day and offer affirmation for being.  I use the snooze button for a timed prayer: "breathe in life and breathe out love", over and over, till time beckons the tasks ahead.

It happened in an instant, a different way of seeing.  If I hadn't allowed it's impact, it would have passed right by me.  As I entered a store, my eyes fell on a picture of a celebrity on the cover of a magazine amongst the deluge of magazines that beckon you to comparisons and competition, to a feeling of deference or a need to gossip.  This time, as I saw the smiling face, beaming success, I felt gratitude and a freedom of companionship.  Her happiness, which I chose to believe to be true, was adding to the field of being in which we are all a part.  That moment or life of happiness helps balance our consciousness, brings the energy of affirmation into the world which touches us all.

It was a different beckoning, this moment of gratitude, to find well being as a worthy endeavor in itself, no matter who you are, and what you earn, and how you live.  Well-being itself helps heal the brokenness of the world, binding together, through affirmation, our interdependent web.

Winter Morning Walk

I open my heart to this day:
To the beauty of blue and the deep eternity of sky,
To the crunch of frosted ground
And the kiss of morning sun.
I breathe in this day with all being
And find myself blessed in beholding.

Open Wide to Wonder

Instead of meeting my life with regret
I can welcome the lessons learned.
Regret says I don't deserve happiness.
How does that serve anyone?

Instead of seeing my life as lacking
Withe the fault lying in my choices
I can see my life as full of experience
That can guide my way.

Wishing it wasn't that way
Obscures the path forward
Finding the truth in this day
Makes way for the new.

Do I want to judge or journey?
With the one, life will be stuck in my comparisons
With the other, life will open wide to wonder.

Already Cluttered

How is it that I enter the New Year already cluttered?
Piles on my desk and in my psyche
Lists of "to do's" and "some day I'll get to that's"
Follow me into the next year, hindering the new of "resolutions".

In our ritual claiming of potential
As we resolve to change or grow or become more
Let us find a way to coach more than judge.

If, for example, we want to lose weight
Let us resolve to love our body more
If we want to spend more time with family
Let us resolve to cherish the moments we already have.

Do we really need to clutter our being with new and better ways of living?
Or do we simply need to pause and recall the good that lies within,
So buried in our judgment, so lost in our perfectionism.

What does this new year bring?
The opportunity to love, to cherish, to wonder, to engage
The details will unfold into a life well lived.

It Is An Honor

It is an honor to breathe with trees,
To engage in the touch of breeze.
An honor, to mingle our lives,
So that roots grow and spirit thrives.

I have little to do with this blessing,
Little to add, I'm confessing;
But to marvel at life with deep care
For the earth, for the cosmos, for air.

Christmas Sighting (Haiku)

One thousand birds flock

Lofty flight as ocean waves

Resonance of wings.

And Then There's Beauty

There are times when I have had the opportunity to walk our dog in the early morning.  We have a lovely view of the sunrise emerging over distant trees and the gift of uncultivated fields.  There is a stillness, if not a silence, that is sometimes palpable and an expanse of sky that offers free breathing and eternal seeing.

I’ve walked our fields sleepy, angry, joyful, confused, yearning for spiritual connection, deep in thought, burdened with worry, light with a sense of abundance.   I sometimes ask for wisdom from the fields and sometimes dance with abandon in the labyrinth.  More often than not I am full of myself, trying to make sense of my being or a shape to my living.  I’m sure the fields are constantly shouting in their own ancient knowing, “lighten up!” and when I sense that beckoning, I become aware of beauty. 

Sometimes when I take in a sunrise, when I let myself open as far as I can -- my mind, my body, my spirit -- the presence of beauty overwhelms me.  I cannot take it all in and yet it is there for the taking.  The generosity of beauty is astounding.  It is ever available.  It exists regardless of our gaze or opinion.

The phrase: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”  is not about our power of judgment – that is, whether something is beautiful or not – but our willingness to see.  Of course there is preference and taste.  Things appeal differently to different people and there are different resonances of being which can harmonize or seem dissonant.  But all of it, all that is around us and within us has a beauty about it.  That beauty is depth of being – that beauty is the authentic call to become fully alive.

Matin

I open my heart to this day:

To the wonder of  being,

And the marvel of consciousness,

To the beauty of creation

And the joy of connection,

To the play of many,

And the finding of One.

I open my heart to this day.

Matin

I open my heart to this life
    and the inherent beauty about it
I open my self to this day
    and the natural treasure within it
I open my being to this moment
    and the eternal fullness of it.

Signals of Belonging

There is a multiplicity in Being
We each partake of Life and living.
When we put ourselves in the center, it is more than we can handle,
And so the cloak of fear and all its lonely responses.
When we put ourselves in the field, we find ourselves companioned
And so the help of the Cosmos and all its signals of belonging.
Open to your life.
Open to your belonging.
Let Being be the center and respond from there.

Watching the Leaves

Watching the leaves fall from the trees, dancing in the wind, I am reminded to let go. 
Let go of expectation. 
Let go of regret. 
Let go of fear. 
Let go of needing an answer. 
Let go of should-be. 
Let go of haven't-yet-done. 
Let go into the moment.  Be full and present and free.

The leaves gently find the ground which is ever there for them, as it is for us.  All is embraced in the moment.  Nothing is left out.  Let go of making it so.  Let go.  Be full and present and free.

Ziplining and the Dantian

As a gift for 20 years in the ministry (or mother's day -- or both), I embarked on a ziplining adventure in the North Carolina mountains (Navitat Zipline Canopy). I have a moderate fear of heights, but have wanted to try ziplining since I first heard of it. I realized this was a good opportunity to breathe through fear and fully enter the present moment, abandonning control of the outcome.

As we climbed the mountain in four wheelers driven by guides, I breathed in the lush woods about me and found my dantian (the energy center deep in the gut). The presence of thrill and trepidation was evident amongst us in the back seat, intermingling with the ease and excitement of the guides in the front seat. We had been asked in the orientation if anyone had a debilitating fear of heights. I said to myself, well....not debilitating....and welcomed the continuing instruction. So now, I was riding up and up and up, ready to embrace the ride within these magnificent mountains.

The training was simple and the assurance of assistance sound. I trusted the safety measures implicitly. The point was to welcome joy, which can only happen when you feel secure enough to let go. By the third zipline (there were ten), I decided to let my guide know that this was a venture, in part, to face a fear.  By then I was pretty sure that I could do the whole course. My revealing the tentative feelings within was to ease out of isolation, which can be debilitating in itself.

While standing on the platforms, high up in age-old trees, I thought of a retreat leader's urging to center into the dantian and ground myself with earth energy. Though far from the ground, I could feel the grounding within. When my arms became wobbly, again more from fear than logic, I heeded the guides instruction, extended my arms out to encourage the flow of chi, and trusted that the fear could accompany me and ride into joy.

This discipline accompanied me throughout the three hour journey, filled with sights and sounds and laughter that keep me smiling to this day.

Praises for the mountains. Praises for the dantian. Praises for opportunities of joy. It is all rarely fear free. Except in moments, steadily growing.

Playing the Airport Blues

Ok.  So I’m in the Atlanta airport, having been in airport halls for 9 hours.  A “mechanical difficulty” on the original plane had 145 passengers scrambling for stand by spots on other flights.  I’ve arrived in time to be a stand-bys…the last flight that will get me to my destination in time to have some of this day there.  I am not successful – just two seats away.  The day, as I would have had it, is busted, by no fault of my own.  I have a quick cry, easy tears, and a phone call to commiserate. 

Moment felt.  Moment done.  Nothing to do about it.  Soften my focus.

So I take a walk in the terminal, having three hours to “kill” when I realize this is a wonderful opportunity to train as a grace operative.  This is where the rubber meets the road, when all my plans are bust and I am given the territory of the present moment.

So I walk, with my carry-ons of course, down the long concourse of the “D” gate.  I breathe, I take in, I let myself not know where I am going and become a passenger in my own journey.

Walking teachers abound in front of me.  I begin to imitate body spirirts as they pass me by.  A saunter that feels good, like a moving “hang”, arms easy on the side with a slight legato transfer of feet.  Then short steps, creating tight hips and a keen sense of people rushing people by.  Next a thrusting walk, heal first,  setting my weight in my hips.  I’m self- conscious at first, until I realize no one is noticing.  I can walk differently every moment.  I am free in my anonymity.  I am fed by our shared presence.

Body parts are favored,  affecting the flow: the placement of a chin, the angle of hip, the thrust of a chest, the position of shoulders.  Feet add percussion and a rhythm to the walk.  A woman swerves left in a perfect arc.  I mirror the swerve to a water fountain.  A perfect dance noticed only by me.  But who needs an audience when grace abounds?

Back to the walk and the abundance of moves, each inviting a different way of navigating.  A wheel chair swirls in front – smooth, weaving energy.  Children work their carry-ons in fluid play.  High heels bounce.  Tightly held bodies keep a shape even while moving. 

There is play everywhere.  There is grace everywhere.  There is fullness everywhere.  I catch the eye of another sojourner.  “Enjoy your day,” I offer.  “Thank you,” came the reply, “you too.”  And you know what?  I will.  Amen.

A Different Kind of Noticing

Today I enjoyed a different kind of noticing.  It answered an intention I made just days ago.

I came upon a positive memory, a time of blessing, an activity of joy.  It flashed by and I noticed and nourished my consciousness.

My mind, as with many, has an ingrained pattern of negativity within it, where I prove over and over again, that I've done something wrong that proves me unworthy.  Imperfections are seen as proof texts to judge my inferior self.  It's a self-made pergatory and an energy draining habit.

John O'Donohue once spoke of creating a canon of beauty, something we can refer to when we feel weakened by daily stresses and inner doubt.  I choose to begin that canon, to summon memories when I did something right, or found something beautiful, or created something lovely, or did something brave....not to claim superiority or even come to my own defense, but to simply witness the praise in my being and the kindness in my soul.

My mistakes can continue to teach, but they do not need to haunt.  I can choose to reprogram my self talk to the point of joy in being and letting my life live.

Our Dog

Our dog gives each moment her full attention.
   Would that I could have such love.
She participates without judgment.
  Would that I could have such grace.
Simple and clear, her being knows nothing more than Now.
  Would that I could have such wisdom.

Forgiveness Continued

I cannot retrieve what is gone.
Not through regret.
Not through resentment.
Not through compensation.
Not through guilt.
Not through blame.

What is gone, is gone.
What didn't happen, didn't happen.
It does not deplete what is here.
Only my attitude does that.
And that depletion is a distortion.
I cannot reclaim what is not here.

All that is needed is here.

There may be need for refueling, restoring, detoxing...
There may be need for cell remembrance of well-being.

Let that be the work.

Let go of the guilt --
   or the pride--
   or the blame--
   or the revenge--
   or the judgment.

Trust in the cosomos and the belonging of transformation.
We do not disappear when we move on.
We do not lose dignity when we let go.
We do not come to an end when we transform.

Namaste.