"If the body is in pain," Thomas Moore points out, "one of the first things to look for is infection; if the soul is in pain, we might look for lack of friendship." (from Soul Mates)
What is true about all the friendships we invite in our lives is that something within us is touched and challenged. We are given the opportunity to know ourselves better, having a mirror of a different angle than we could reflect. In friendships, a new way of being presents itself and somehow merges into our understanding of life and our way of being in it. We find we are not alone and that indeed, somehow, we belong.
In a friendship that is open to learning, one has no claim on the other. Each celebrates and encourages authentic response. This kind of friendship naturally lasts for life; not because it is supposed to, but because it embraces presence, the touch of the eternal. With steady intention, a friendship easily lasts beyond a life, for in death a person dies, but not necessarily the regard, or even the relationship.
I've found that when I am surprised into a new perspective by a long-standing friend, my world is expanded, and I am persuaded into joy. This moment is often accompanied with laughter—the cleansing kind, the belly laugh that clears those energy blocks in an instant and gives one hope for what may come in the next moment.
When we are grounded in self and secure in our companionship, we can be open to surprise. When we know that however we field our days our friends will stay with us, we are free to respond without defensiveness or judgment. When we are free from the constraints of pretense, expectation, or possessiveness, we have a friendship that can bring out our stunning selves.
It is friendship that allows time its course without affecting the connection. Friendships need to be nurtured, but they also need to be trusted in order to last through the changes and turbulence that comes with life.
There are friends who can pick up conversations years after they were begun as if no time had passed at all. These are the friends that agree with a rhythm of relating that soothes the soul and reminds us of a piece of home, a calmness of heart that welcomes happiness.
Ralph Waldo Emerson surmised that "A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature."
I am grateful for friends who have given me glimpses of the grace of friendship and for their generosity in helping me believe I was worthy of a good friend.
May we endeavor to do this for each other.
