Forgiveness

Forgiveness comes from the realization that I cannot have a better past.  It is an understanding of my wholeness without the need for another’s actions.  It is the decision to lift the burden of judgment from my ways and walking and to free myself of conditional living  (I’ll feel better when….I’ll have happiness if….).  A paradox: forgiving the other does not necessarily change that person.  Forgiving the other changes me.

The "T" in LGBT

I found myself deeply challenged, several years ago, out of a complacency and into uncharted territory.  I did not expect it, as one rarely does, and continue to feel grateful for the growing edge.  The surprise was my inner resistance to transgendered being.

The surprise was threefold. 

First, having worked in lgbt rights advocacy for many years, including the “t” (transgender) in that advocacy, I was surprised by the pronounced discord in me between theory and reality.  I found myself wondering, upon actually meeting and getting to know a transgendered person, why she was living that life.  My resistance to change took refuge in philosophy and analysis, stereotyping and psychobabble.  Outwardly, I made gestures of equality and was truly engaged and eager for community.  Inwardly, I was uncomfortable and judgmental.  Fortunately, I knew my inner response to be a fear response, but it woke me up out of smugness and into, I hope, deeper authenticity.

Second, I was challenged by my basic assumption of binary thinking, an assumption I had not realized before the challenge of new being was before me.  This, after the initial embarrassment that one can feel when discovering an ignorance, was an exciting invitation to expansion of perspective.  So much of our lives are centered around binary thinking – either/or, us and them, right and wrong, my way or the highway. 

Gender assumption goes to the core of communal understanding and of ordering society.  In Native American circles duel-sexed people are often named "two-spirited" and are respected as teachers, considered messengers from the Creator. They are honored as sacred, for they are living the truth within their being of the interconnected dynamic of all being – male, female and other.   I have been given the gift, by meeting transgendered people, to realize I am just beginning to open to a consciousness that transcends binary thinking.

And third, I was surprised, after my initial resistances to difference, how encouraged I felt to be truly who I am.  The courage it takes to claim our authentic selves pales in the face of those who are ridiculed, disdained, and often physically harmed, even unto death, to simply claim who they are.  I am in awe of that courage and fortitude and realize it will take us all to claim who we truly are before we bring about a just and compassionate world.

May we welcome that which stretches us into deeper understanding, and may we hold in our embrace the glorious diversity of life and spirit that is the truth of our Being.

So may it be.  With love, lisa.