I Am Here

Did I choose to be here, or was I summoned?
Am I here to learn, or to respond?
And do I need to know?
I am here.  That is all. 

I am.  In the midst of laws of nature and trends of consciousness.
I am.  Here.
Its glory.  Its mystery.  Its dread-ful loneliness.  Its delight-ful connections.  Its not knowing what's next.

Here.
To savor. Not save.
To admire.  Not control.
To engage.  Not resist.

Here.
I am.

And the answer, I believe, is Yes.

And Then the Silence Enters You

And then the silence enters you.

It will not come unless you have made room.  And, depending on your attachment  (addiction?)  to busy-ness, it may take time to truly make room.  Perhaps, even, the phrase “make room” sends one off course, because silence doesn’t come from striving, it comes when efforts no longer have a goal.   It comes when you’ve forgotten to make room for all the things you have orchestrated.   There is a surrender, a stepping aside, that must happen before silence enters.

This is not merely a moment without noise.  While a reprieve for the heart and an expanse for the breathe, a moment of release is not the silence that enters you.  I speak of the presence where presence abides;  the silence where connections are known with the unity of all things.

This silence, with our full notice, brings us to stillness.  And stillness, my friend, is the place where the soul is replenished.  Stillness is the sister spirit of joy.

Prayer

Prayer has not come easily to me.  It wasn’t until my twenties that I gave it a good go, and, thirty years later, I am beginning to feel a resonance, a “prayer life”.  I slowly came to realize that I do not have to know, specifically, who or what I am praying to.  In fact, that may limit the flow of energy, healing or wisdom I seek;  because it would then be a conversation with my definitions, not an invocation of that which encompasses more than me. 

Prayer is an attitude and an affirmation far more than a contract or directive.  It is more a recognition than submission, though there is some of both.  It is more an opening than a finding, though there is, again, some of both.  Whatever image or name I use, I am focusing my being on a presence of harmony and well-being, a wisdom that resonates with gratitude, love, unity and truth.  The answer comes not in our asking, but in our intention to live within gratitude, love, unity and truth.  We are helped when we are willing to be transformed, attuned to the resonance of cosmic harmony.  How could we possibly name that essence?

One of my favorite readings, by Joy Harjo  (Eagle Poem) begins: “To pray you open your whole self to sky, to earth,  to sun, to moon, to one whole voice that is you… and know that there is more that you can’t see, can’t  hear,  can’t know except in moments steadily growing and in languages that aren’t always sound but other circles of motion...”

When I pray, I suspend my sense of separateness and offer union with energies that transcend my ego distortions, wisdoms that do not honor my false and fear-based perceptions.  When I pray I allow my potential for love and gratitude, for honoring truth and living with integrity.  And then I let the cosmos work out the details.

And so...

There may be things that I can no longer do.  Relationships that I waited too long to nurture.  Dreams that I let go beyond possibility.  And so...

I need not define myself by what's missing.  I can define myself in the midst of transformation.

If I deem that hopeless, then I will remain a shadow of my former self.  If I deem that opportunity, then I find wonder beyond imagining.

Who I am is not subject to comparison or judgment.  Who I am thrives when I am open to the infinite supply of avenues toward wholeness.

 I choose to thrive, with the help of the Cosmos.

Push Hands

The other day, I was introduced to a movement from the tai chi family called “push hands”.  This is a movement done with a partner to work on balance and energy placement.  This calls for constant contact while shifting positions, ever attentive to the synergetic movement of energy.  One style of teaching this movement includes the discipline of thanking the partner when you are thrown off balance by her or him.  Instead of pushing back, or steeling one’s defenses, you say “thank you” while adjusting your position to a better balance and wiser center.  Your “opponent” teaches you whether you are well balanced.  It is a gift to be shown where you are off-balance and how to be more open to what may come your way.

Let’s shift this logic to justice work and the common shame/blame spiral that so often gets us stuck in a place of alienation, fear and resentment.  What if, when someone lifts up a reality we did not see, which helps us adjust to a deeper harmony, we say “thank you” and endeavor to realign the center of our assumptions into a wider field of understanding and, so, living.

This “thank you” does two things.  It articulates faith in a learning curve, a gesture of knowing that harmony is possible.  It also reminds all involved that the point is to be balanced rather than to gain an “upper hand”.

We are all in this together.  May we find that center, and shift our weight accordingly.

Guilt As False Witness

Excerpts from my 23 October sermon, “Guilt As False Witness”

John Dominic Crossan,  religious scholar and former Catholic priest, challenges us: 

“Guilt is totally inoperative for me,” he writes in his book A Long Way from Tipperary, “and I suggest it should be for all of us.  Think of it as you think of gas.  Get rid of it.  It is the flatulence of conscience.  It is a spiritual waste product, and more important, it distracts us or excuses us from such absolutely necessary attitudes as honesty and integrity, clarity and accuracy, accountability and responsibility.”[1]

What I like about that statement is that he turns the whole assumption about guilt around.  People assume that guilt helps us be good, that it compels us toward humility, which keeps us from being arrogant.  Guilt reminds us that we are not perfect and that we are dependent on forgiveness to be ok.  This way, so the reasoning goes, we behave, stay humble, and ever stride to be in “God’s good favor” – whatever that means… for it means a lot of different things to a lot of different people….”

I say guilt does not bring out the best in us, it actually encourages self-sabotage.  Guilt sets up the false notion of a stain on our character, something that we cannot remove.  When guilt invades our psyche it invites self-contempt which feeds on our natural imperfection, giving us reason after reason after reason as to why we are not worthy.  Guilt is not a gift from God. It is a barrier to the sense of god within...

The logic of guilt keeps people down because it is a logic that says we must fight  human nature.  It is an idea system that says we must shun parts of ourselves and battle between the “good impulses” and the “bad impulses”.  Guilt divides and conquers:  taking energy away from our strength of being by judging part of ourselves as unworthy….

In other words, because we are not perfect, we are flawed, and being flawed we are doomed to inferiority and corruption…

I would argue that perfectionism is a flawed idea and that chasing after it out of fear of damnation is not only a tragic waste of time and life, it is bearing false witness to the glory of Creation.  Furthermore, our rejection of human nature contributes to much of the melancholy, violence, hopelessness and sense of alienation in our society, which then leads to damaging, soul-sick choices.

If we are taught from a young age that our guilt makes us acceptable, then we can get into a habit of constantly feeling badly about ourselves.  We can think we are doing something constructive by disapproving of ourselves.  It can become a habit that is hard to break, a habit that makes us depend on others or some authority to tell us we are ok.  That kind of dependence – the need for approval – blocks our own self claiming – our own signature of being -- that no one else fully understands.  If we rely on the approval of others, either rattling around as voices in our heads or actually in our relationships, the beauty and strength and joy that is us will not emerge...

Our being is a “yes!”, not an “OH NO….!”  Why on earth would we engage with one another if it is simply to find ourselves lacking?  What kind of futile exercise would that be?

And if we find ourselves lacking, we then underestimate our power of being.  If we choose to judge ourselves unworthy, we then undermine our ability to love.  If we expect little from our being, then we will bear false witness to its miracle and we will not treat ourselves or others as precious gestures of creation...

We don’t need guilt to be good.  We need our sense of connection to this vast and precious enterprise of being.  Then we will know how to cherish it, honor it and be grateful for it.

---

[1] Crossan, John Dominic. A Long Way from Tipperary,, p. 197

No One Owns Sacred Words

This is an exerpt from my 16 October sermon: "The Many Names for God":

No one owns sacred words.  They are merely guideposts, orientations, jumping off points to larger, uncontainable concepts.  And no one owns concepts of being.  No one.  No one person, no system, no ruler, no book, no region, no one place in time.  And Halleluiah Unitarian Universalism for teaching me that: the freedom, the challenge, the frustration, the open field of that.  No one owns the concept of God/Goddess.

I recommend we transcend the argument of the naming of God/Goddess and enter into the dialogue of  Presence.  People have shared all sorts of experiences that can uplift and enlighten us:

It didn’t have a name but was a sense of the power of the universe, the energy that brings life to form...

It didn’t have a name but was a feeling of an overwhelming sense of home that transcended all worry, all distinction, all judgment…

It didn’t have a name but was the Feeling of a hand that flowed through the body and left every muscle relaxed and at peace...

It didn’t have a name but was the hearing of a voice that challenged a deeper engagement with life...

It didn’t have a name but was a knowing deep within that realized justice as a sacred power...

It didn’t have a name but was the witness of paradox, that two unlikely things could be true and held in the same moment...

We need images, metaphors, stories that remind us of the greater wonder, of our own connections, of our participation in this vast universe.  They bring us down to earth and into the next moment, they hold us as we journey on.

So whatever you may name, describe or image that which calls you forth to seek beauty, to open to your wisdom, to nourish your love, and frame your awe,  may it fit in to the shaping of your life.  May you always feel its presence.  Amen.