Steadiness of Being

We really have two basic choices: to be ourselves, or not to be ourselves. It’s not about whether we are a success or failure, nor whether we are approved by others or better

or worse than others. It’s about coming to a true understanding of ourselves and finding the integrity therein.

This is far easier said than done. In fact, it is a lifelong endeavor. Integrity takes practice, affirmation, and courage … especially in a society that invites “presentation” and glamour. Integrity reflects our inborn truth, something that we assume, more often than not, is not good

enough to “get ahead” or “get noticed.” It is also something that is discouraged, because it challenges others to find their own integrity; an often difficult and vulnerable revealing.

When I am not myself, I am comparing myself to others, wondering how I rate or impress.  When I am not centered on my own truth, I am projecting outward, manifesting shame or blame, self righteousness or victimhood. In short, when choosing not to be myself, I am rating my value by chasing external affirmation. When we each do this, we end up chasing each other around, controlled by projection and judgment – ours and others. 

One way out of the cycle of judgment is into generosity.  When we give of ourselves, we find a steadiness of being. The success of the moment comes from a true interchange rather than control of other. It’s a delicate balance between self affirmation and love of other, a

balance that can be tested, tried and trained in a faith community like UUFHC. As we give and receive from one another, as we come together and bless each other’s

journey, we encourage a deeper honesty and an experience

for life in its abundance. 

(excerpted from the october 2010 UUFHC newsletter)